Dating Fails: Introduction
Hi Everyone! I figured that before I start sharing with y’all other funny (and not so funny) stories (oh yes, I’ve actually had a very eventful and rich life outside of my divorce and subsequent battles with the psychopath ex), I should start with a proper introduction to this new section on dating fails that many of you have been asking for and that some of you will find relatable.
As you have probably guessed already, I haven’t been very lucky in love. Neither am I known for a particularly good taste in men. Nor did I have much experience dating when I found myself freshly divorced and with a small toddler at 24. Not to mention all of the trauma and emotional baggage. Right away, I jumped into a couple of rebound relationships. One of them lasted on and off for 2 years with a 10 month break during which I managed to fit in the second one. This probably deserves its own separate post. Maybe I’ll do it later.
For now, let’s just say that what I learned from it all was one thing: that I would much rather be alone than be stuck in another destructive and dysfunctional relationship. When I finally broke things off with the last guy at 26 , I realized that I needed a break from it all. I needed a break from all men and from all relationships. It was a very difficult and scary jump for me into the unknown. I’ve never been single since I was 18. It felt weird. It felt terrifying. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
As scary as the concept of being “single” was to me at first, I quickly found myself enjoying the freedom and full autonomy over my time, body, emotions, and space. I was free to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. I really needed that time to heal and to discover who I really was after being completely destroyed as a woman and as a human being by my ex.
For the remainder of my 20s, my first reaction to guys who approached me was pretty much the same every time: '“Get the f-k away from me.” I didn’t dear to venture back out into the dating pool until I hit my early 30s in the 2010s. And when I finally did, it was shockingly unrecognizable and unfamiliar. Things really shifted and for the worse within just a few years. Times changed, technologies changed, and people’s behaviors changed.
It makes me think of that scene from He's Just Not That Into You where Drew Barrymore’s character Mary talks about being rejected by 7 different technologies. Here’s the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7GgBlLxwH4
And that was pre-Tinder too!
As you have probably already guessed, I have been navigating the dating landscape ever since, in search of that magical unicorn whom I would want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I haven’t seen him yet, but have met a lot of other fascinating characters and learned a few things along the way.
In addition to attracting a lot of very “special” characters, I’m also notorious for getting into the most bizarre dating experiences. I’m going to post a few memorable stories that are worth sharing with the rest of the world. We can all learn a few things from them.
I will not be using any real names and will be changing some character details to make sure that none of you will be able to figure out who I’m actually writing about. Unless, of course, you’ll be reading about yourself. You will then know that I’m talking about you. Or maybe some of you will just recognize familiar patterns. And maybe it will make you pause and rethink how you go about your life and dating in particular.
To be continued …